For most of us, the Christmas season is a beautiful opportunity to stop at the end of a busy season, reflect, reset, be refreshed and renewed. But when it comes to our relationships, here are three more postures to consider.
Reconnect
There is a phenomenon in friendship called relational decay. The sands of time and miles of geography do to our connections what the failure of brushing and lack of dental hygiene do to my ten year old’s teeth. Our diaries resemble peak commuter trains, with little space to maintain important relationships.
Enter Christmas. The days around 25th in my calendar are an oasis of head and heart space. Family gatherings give precious opportunity to make the annual pilgrimage to conversations with siblings and in-laws that keep the relational fires alive. Don’t miss these moments, but I would also encourage you to make room for one or two reconnection moments with friends whose connection with you risks decay if another year goes by. One of the gifts of this season is time and space. Invest it in a friend who needs it.
Reconcile
I have observed that part of the ‘magic’ of Christmas is that we are far more open to human connection than normal. You can say, ‘Happy Christmas’ to checkout assistants, people in the street and mortal enemies from around 5th December onwards and the will smile warmly and reply in turn. Greet that same person a month later and you may be lucky to receive a hostile grunt of acknowledgment.
This phenomenon of seasonal social softening also creates moments to forgive fractures and right wrongs. At the heart of the Christmas story is the King who enters our world in fragile humanity to bridge the gap between our broken hearts and his relentless love: Peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled. If there is distance between you and a friend or relative this Christmas, perhaps it is time to offer a hand of restoration. In doing so, you will be embodying the original script of the word becoming flesh, full of grace and truth. They may well be more open than you might think.
Reach out
A friend of mine recently did some research that found that, if invited, 78% of students would come to church – at any time. Christian identity may be on the decline in the UK, but the Christmas season, for so many, is the annual appointment with a church service. As I regularly pray for my neighbours and friends, it is probably the easiest invite of the year.
Churches do Christmas well. If every day is a school day, it is our prom night moment. If you have friends who don’t yet know the baby in the manger, or the saviour he became, take the opportunity to invite them to hear the good tidings he brings for them and their kin. If your church is running a Christianity Explored, Alpha Course, or similar in the new year, these services are also an excellent bridge.
There have been few years in my lifetime in which my the shores of my newsfeed has been hit with so many storms. In these fractured times we need each others and the God who became a baby to be with us when the waters rise. May you know today the presence of Immanuel, reconciliation and deep connection. Happy Christmas.
